i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
