Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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