I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
