TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize