I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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