Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
