I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
