also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
