Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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