just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
