His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
