he wants to bone in the snuggie
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
