We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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