these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
