So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Randomize
