She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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