In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
