there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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