Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
