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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
cat food counts as protein by the way
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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