There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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