he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
