hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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