Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize