Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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