absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i don't like sucking hair
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
