my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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