Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
