Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
