Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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