I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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