Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
