i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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