He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize