Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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