I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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