we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
