i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
