Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
