Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
