he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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