I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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