New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
