Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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