i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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