Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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