; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
