Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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