I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
