youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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