her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
