Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this just has baby written all over it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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