he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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