i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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