Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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