You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Just cropdusted the office
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
