well you can't waste a boner
There was a lot of him and a little penis
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
