I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize