it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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