So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
