Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
