as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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