On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
