fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
