i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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