when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
