If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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